


A Mess Of A Human Being

by sgtbuckaroobarnes



Series: SamBucky Prompt Fills [1]
Category: Marvel (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: At some point or another - Freeform, M/M, just tagging all those characters cuz i'm sure they will all show up in these, this is a series of the prompts i've gotten and filled on tumblr
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-23
Updated: 2016-11-23
Packaged: 2018-09-01 20:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,818
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8636275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sgtbuckaroobarnes/pseuds/sgtbuckaroobarnes
Summary: prompt: Bucky tries to ask Sam out but is nervous and keeps stuttering and can't get to the point
From: Anon





	

**Author's Note:**

> so hopefully this is the first of all the prompts from my tumblr that i'm gonna post here! if this works right! i hope it does! enjoy guys!

It’s just a date. It should be simple, really simple, he used to do this all the time. Steve had told him when he couldn’t remember, Bucky used to be good at this. But things had changed, Bucky, had changed, and now, this thing that should be easy, was fucking impossible. 

It was Sam’s fault. He had those damn beautiful eyes, and every time Bucky tried to ask him out, Sam would look at him with those eyes and Bucky got lost and tangled up in his words. He only ever tried to ask Sam when they were alone. And Sam alone, and Sam around everyone else, were two separate creatures entirely. 

Bucky could handle Social Sam just fine, snarky remarks and dumb jokes, he could handle. It was Alone Sam that threw him off. Alone Sam was soft. He still joked around, but if he noticed anything off he changed, got quiet, his big eyes going wide and waiting for Bucky to talk to him, to tell him what was bothering him. Bucky figured years working at the VA did that, opened him up and made him the best listener Bucky had ever met. But he listened with his whole body, and that was damn distracting when you had things to say.

Asking out Sam Wilson was impossible and it was completely Sam’s fault. 

Bucky found Sam in the gym, his first mistake, and walked a crooked line through the gym to get to him. He was covered in sweat, his skin shining. Bucky’s eyes fell to his collar bones then to his biceps, his second and third mistakes. Sam gave Bucky a quick wave and turned back to what he’d been doing. Bucky stopped at the edge of the mat and watched Sam slam his fists into one of the punching bags a few more times. Bucky watched the muscles bunch in his shoulder blades and his hands started shaking, aching to touch but knowing he shouldn’t, can’t. He fisted his hands at his sides and turned around, heading back toward the door. 

“Did you need something Buck?” Sam called after him, his voice sounding a bit muffled, Bucky knew he was whipping his face with his shirt and resisted the urge to turn and look.

“Nope. Nothing. I didn’t mean to bother you.” He called over his shoulder, not turning around. His jaw clenched as he left the gym. 

He was gone before he could hear Sam mutter, “You never bother me Buck.” 

~***~

He tried three more times after that, the first time he’d gone into the kitchen and Sam was cooking, because of course he can cook too. And he’s amazing at it, Bucky’s never had such amazing food grace his mouth before. He poured a cup of coffee and meant to lean back and try and ask Sam, casual as you please, and his elbow had hit the very edge of the counter. His coffee went everywhere, mostly all over him. He bit his lip at the heat, he was lucky he’d been holding the cup in his left hand or he’d probably have been burnt pretty badly. He was lucky, in that at least. Sam had turned around to see Bucky standing looking down at himself, coffee splashed everywhere. 

Bucky set his mug in the sink and left the way he came in. He heard Sam calling after him, asking if he was okay.

“I’m fine. It’s fine.” Was all he’d said before sulking back to his room to change, and then avoiding Sam for the rest of the day. 

The second time, they’d been out running. Sam came running with him sometimes, and Bucky would run a lap on his own and then one in Sam’s time. Alternating every other lap. He’d just finished his single lap and was jogging next to Sam, trying to keep his eyes off the man next to him so he wouldn’t get distracted. He’d practiced what he’d say the entire lap before. Even ran it a little slow so he’d have more time to get it perfect. 

He’d glanced next to him a few times, looking at Sam. Sam had noticed and kept glancing back at the same time. Bucky was trying not to get distracted by the smile that was spreading across Sam’s face wider and wider every time he caught Bucky looking. 

“Go on then.” Sam said next to him after he caught Bucky’s eye again. Bucky startled inwardly.

“Go on then what?” he asked.

“I don’t know, you keep lookin at me, I assumed you had something to say.” he said with a breathy laugh.

“Is this the part where I make a comment about your ass?” Sam looked over at him with a surprised laugh. Bucky’s stomach dropped into his knees when he realized what had come out of his mouth.

“ I mean- that’s not what I meant. I meant…make a comment about how ‘assuming’ makes an ass out of you…or both of us…or something?” he stammered. Sam was laughing next to him. Bucky smiled at him, trying not to look how he felt inside. What the fuck was wrong with him? 

The run went fine for awhile, they stopped talking, then, a few laps later Sam asked him if he needed to talk again. Bucky had glanced over at him, for just a second, and was about to open his mouth when he tripped over a loose brick on the sidewalk and face planted. 

Sam helped him up quickly, asked if he was okay, and that was becoming a habit. Bucky had said he was fine. Then he told Sam he wanted to finish the rest of his run alone and had run off, leaving Sam behind looking confused. 

The third time was just as embarrassing as the others, maybe more so. Sam was in Tony’s lab, having Tony look at a pair of his wings, Bucky had asked Steve where Sam was and then headed to find him, determined this time. He saw Tony walk off to another part of his lab, into one of the side rooms that had god knows what in them, and then his eyes landed on Sam. 

Sam looked up, waved, and shot Bucky a blinding smile. Bucky waved and smiled back. He was debating whether he should go into the lab and just ask Sam out right then, even though Tony was close, or wait til later when it would be just them. He’d decided to maybe head down the hall and wait until Sam was done. 

Then he walked right into the door. 

In his defense, the door was glass, very clean glass, and hard to see when you were looking at a beautiful man that made your brain feel like it was full of static. 

His metal arm clanged against the glass loudly before he took a few steps back. He didn’t look up at Sam. He just turned around and walked back the way he’d come, his cheeks and neck feeling hot enough to fry an egg on.

A door. He’d walked straight into a door. In front of Sam. Just… walked right into it. What was wrong with him?

~***~

Bucky was sitting on the couch, staring at the turned off tv, contemplating his life choices. 

He’d been sitting there staring at the blank screen for awhile. He hadn’t seen Wanda walk past and into the kitchen, she’d looked at him with some concern before going on her way. Clint had passed as well, but he was never one to ask about things that could complicate his life more, so he just ignored it and kept walking. 

“Are you okay?” Sam’s voice asked, breaking through the haze that was Bucky’s brain at the moment. He jumped a little and then stood up quickly, turning to look at Sam, his heart now beating quickly in his chest. 

“What?” Bucky asked, he wasn’t 100% sure what Sam had actually said, just heard his voice through the fog. 

“I said are you okay?”

“Oh. Right. Yeah. Yeah I’m fine.” Bucky said with a shrug, feeling not fine. Sam didn’t look convinced. 

“Right. You’re fine. That’s why you’ve been sitting in front of a tv that isn’t even on for three hours.” Sam said, his voice dry. 

“Three hours?” he sounded surprised, he honestly hadn’t realized he’d been sitting there that long. Shit. 

“Yeah, three hours, that’s why Wanda sent me to make sure you’re okay. She was worried.” He paused, stepping closer, “I’m worried too. You’ve been acting real weird these past few weeks. Or at least, weirder than normal.”

“I don’t act weird.” Bucky muttered under his breath, keeping his eyes on the ground.

“Right, of course you don’t.” Sam’s voice was full of sarcasm. Bucky looked up at Sam finally, taking in his worried features. He may have been playing it off as a joke but he was concerned, about Bucky, because he’d been acting like an idiot for weeks. Bucky’s chest tightened. 

“I just…” he started, his voice quiet, he had no clue what to say. He once again found himself wishing he could be the Bucky that Steve had told him about, the one who was confident and sure, instead of this nervous bumbling mess of a person. He took a deep breath and sighed loudly, his throat refusing to work. 

“I’m here if you need me, you know that right? If you need to talk about anything.” Sam said, giving Bucky that open look he always gives him when he’s trying to get Bucky to open up. 

“I… yeah.” He sighs, instead of the words he really wants to say. He looks back to the floor, Sam’s light too bright for him too look at right now. Sam nods and heads for the kitchen. 

“Do you wanna go to dinner with me?” Bucky says in a rush, too loudly, but he got it out. His cheeks are hot again and he feels ridiculous and a little bit like he might throw up. Sam turns slowly to look at him, Bucky’s eyes drop to the ground.

“Do I want to go to dinner with you?” he repeats slowly. Bucky nods.

“Yeah. Like, as a… like a… a da- a date. With me?” he stammers out, sounding more frustrated with himself than anything, his ability to use the English language apparently floating away from him as he speaks. 

“You’re asking me out on a date?” Sam asks, Bucky can tell he’s using his “I’m asking for clarification” voice, but he still feels like an idiot. 

“Yeah?” Bucky says with a grimace, finally raising his eyes from the floor to look at Sam. Needing himself to be brave enough to at least look at him. 

Sam is smiling at him, not a big bright one, a small one, a soft smile just for Bucky.

“It’s about damn time.”


End file.
